Monday, July 23, 2012

My Lupus Life

I have lived with my Lupus diagnosis for over a year now and I have learned quite a bit about myself along the way.  My newest revelation has come over the past few weeks.  It was brought about by the choice I made to run a half marathon.  I began running in January and used the couch to 5k program to get myself back into shape.  I have now ran a few 5k's and wanted to make that leap and fulfill a goal that I have wanted for sometime now, the half marathon. 

As I talked to other people about it I noticed how often I said that I wanted to run now while I can or how running has become such a part of my life that I would be heartbroken when I have to quit.  It's these types of statements that were coming out of my mouth that caused me to pause and reflect.  When had I become such a glass is half empty type of person?  Somewhere along my journey of health and life I have come to just expect that at any moment the other shoe is going to drop.  At any time my health will take a drastic down turn and I will be back to barely being able to walk or lift my children up.  The shock of my Lupus diagnosis has stuck my brain in a pattern of thinking that I do not want for myself.  I do not want to always be waiting for the flare to hit me. 

I need to realize and remember that it is not likely that I will ever get that bad again.  We know what is wrong with me and when I feel a flare coming on we can take care of it quickly.  It is just like my Crohn's disease.  I will never get as bad as I was that first time 10+ years ago.  I know what to do!  I know in my heart that living this life in fear of the next flare is NOT how God wants me to live.  In 1 Peter it talks about casting all your fears on God because He cares for us.  Then, in Colossians I am remind how I can do all thing through Christ who gives me strength.  I believe that God knows my fears related to my health and I believe these last few weeks He has been nudging me to let them go.  To cast them at His feet and leave them there.  Not to pick them back up tomorrow or later this evening (if we are being real here.)  I believe that God is telling me that, yes, I will have flares but, no, it is not the end of my hopes and dreams for myself.  He will give me strength to survive each flare and come back each time.  My life is NOT over and I WILL stop talking like it is. 

'Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

Monday, July 16, 2012

Aubrey is 2!

My sweet girl is now two.  An official toddler.  I can't believe that we do not have any babies in the house anymore!  While most of me is glad to be done with the baby stage I can't help but be a little sad that we are done.

Aubrey is developing into a fun combination of personalities.  She is sensitive and tender hearted like Dawson but full of fun and mischief like Emma.  We are hitting the two's stage where she needs to do everything herself and yells at everyone when she doesn't get her way.  She is now sleeping in a big girl bed and is doing pretty well.  She gets out of bed at night but she never comes out of her room.  She will just play really quietly in her room.  Emma was always loud so I always knew when she was up.  I have to get into the habit of randomly checking on Aubrey to make sure she isn't playing.  She really is super quiet!  Aubrey is really into Winnie the Pooh and Nemo.  She loves to read books, swing on the swings and play trains. 

With Dawson and Emma going to both be in school all day Aubrey and I will have lots of time to hang out together.  I am looking forward to spending time just playing with her.  Sometimes I feel like I am too caught up with everything to just sit and play.  I can't wait to have some Aubrey and Mommy time together. 

For Aubrey's birthday I made her a Winnie the Pooh cake.  I had googled Buttercream cake transfer and found this youtube video.

It was super easy and I think that it turned out pretty well.  I used canned frosting for the outline and a homemade buttercream for the rest.  In the future I will use homemade for all of it.  The canned frosting did not set up as well as the homemade did.  This is the buttercream recipe that I used:
*I did make a change to the recipe by using half shortening and half butter instead of all shortening. 

Here is the cake all finished.  It was pretty easy to do and most important, Aubrey loved it!

Aubrey having fun opening her presents.

I had made a fleece Winnie the Pooh blanket for her big girl bed.

Aubrey laid down on the ground and covered herself up to try out her new blankie.  It was pretty cute:)

Emma picked out a stuffed Winnie the Pooh for Aubrey and wrapped the gift up herself.  Aubrey, of course, loved the Pooh bear.

Dawson picked out Eeyore and Aubrey was so funny because she kept asking why Eeyore had his tail. In her Winnie the Pooh movie he is always missing his tail.

I took this picture of Aubrey trying to eat someone else's cake after hers was all gone.  She LOVED the frosting!

Aubrey all snuggled up and ready to watch her Pooh movie with her new friends.  What a great way to end the day!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Dawson's Loft Bed

For the past year or so Dawson and Dan have been talking together about building a loft bed for Dawson's room.  This summer they finally began building it together.  It is now finished and put together in Dawson's room.  Dawson's old bed was moved into Aubrey and Emma's room.  Aubrey is out of her crib and into a big bed now.  Crazy, I know.  I was able to take some pictures of Dan and Dawson's building process.  Yay for father/son projects!

Here is Dan teaching Dawson how to use a cordless drill.

Dawson helping build the bed in his room.  He had to put a bandanna on just like Dad.

The bed put together and the ladder on. 

Here is the full shot of the loft bed.  Dawson has a desk under the bed and it has already been put to good use. 

Dan loves to make furniture and it was a joy to watch Dawson and Dan work on something together.  Dawson will have this loft bed for a long time (probably until he leaves home).  I am glad that they were able to make some memories together while building it and I hope that this isn't the last father/son project!