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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I smell like an onion

The following took place today between Emma and I. 

"Mom, I need a bath.  I smell like an onion!" Emma yelled as she came running into the house from playing in the back yard.  I was busy in the kitchen and didn't really look at her as she had came in the house.  I gave my standard response when Emma asks me if she can take a bath, "No Emma.  Not right now.  You can take a bath tonight before bed.  You know the routine."  This is where she began to pitch a fit because she's not getting her way.  She has started doing this recently.  She will cross her arms over her chest, squish up her face and turn her back on me.  It is a little funny but like a pro I keep a straight face.  As Emma turns around I notice that she isn't wear her shoes and her legs seem rather shiny.  As I walk closer to her that is when the smell hit me.  I kid you not my friends when I tell you that it almost made me gag.  I can handle dirty diapers and vomit pretty well but the combo of old onion and fryer grease was disgusting.  I immediately whipped out my "Mommy voice" and asked Emma what in the world had she been doing outside?  She replied (with some fear in her eyes), "I was playing in Daddy's onion fry thing." 

A little background here.  We have a small fryer that Dan uses once in a while to cook onion rings in.  We usually use it outside on the deck because if you don't the whole house smells like McDonald's.  Apparently Dan has made some onion rings the other night and left the fryer on the deck table.

 Emma had opened the fryer (which how she knew how to open it is beyond me but then I always say that about her) stuck her hands in the oil and then wiped it all over her legs and arms. After getting the whole story I march her straight into time out. She is already crying because she has to go into time out.  Emma hates time out so much that one day she asked me to spank her instead.  I set the timer for three minutes and then open a window.  Seriously, the old onion smell was gross.  When her time out is over we talk it out.  She says she is sorry.  I forgive her and then launch into a speech about the dangers of fryers.  When it is all said and done I tell her, "Let's go put you in the tub.  You really do smell like an onion."  And Emma replies, "I told you so Mom."

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